Why You Have No Self Control Have You Ever Asked, “Where’s My Self Control?”

 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Oh, let me tell you, I get it. There you are, staring down the barrel of another chocolate donut. The guilt is already creeping in, and the sweat is pooling, but you can’t resist.

Or maybe it’s not donuts for you; perhaps it’s the seductive allure of the couch when you should be hitting the gym, or the hypnotic glow of your phone when you should be studying. Does this sound like you? Welcome to the club!

Most of us struggle with self-control at one point or another.

“But why?” you cry, as you reach for the remote instead of your running shoes. Why is it that you have no self-control? Let’s get to the bottom of this.

But brace yourself — it might be a bit of a bumpy ride.

The Real Enemy — Habit or Willpower?

Here’s the thing, folks. For years, we’ve been told that willpower is the answer. “Just try harder,” they say. “Don’t give in,” they insist.

But hey, let’s be real. If it were as simple as that, wouldn’t we all be self-control superheroes by now?

Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty. Imagine your brain as a prehistoric beast.

This old chap’s primary job? To keep you safe and alive. Our ancient ancestors, roaming around in loincloths, needed quick, automatic responses to survive.

So, our brains developed habits — behaviors that could be repeated without wasting precious cognitive resources. Sounds pretty smart, right?

But wait, there’s more. Those sweet-toothed among us can relate. Our prehistoric buddy also developed a preference for sweet, fatty, high-energy foods. Back then, it was a survival mechanism. Today? Not so much.

Now, we’re surrounded by sweet treats and comforting carbs, but our brains are still stuck in the Stone Age, cheering us on every time we reach for another slice of pizza.

So you see, when it comes to your lack of self-control, you’re fighting against millennia of evolution. It’s not a fair fight. Willpower alone can’t stand a chance.

So is all hope lost? Absolutely not!

Understanding Your Brain — The Key to Self-Control

Now, this doesn’t mean we can blame everything on our ‘caveman brain’ and carry on as we were. That’s a cop-out, and you know it.

What it means is that we need to get smart and understand our brain’s quirks if we want to win the battle of self-control.

Cognitive neuroscientists tell us that we have two primary systems in our brains. The first one, the fast, automatic system, is all about habits and quick responses. It’s the caveman part.

The second one, the slower, conscious system, is where all our thinking, planning, and willpower lives.

Sounds like a mismatch, doesn’t it? Indeed it is. And that’s why it’s tough to break bad habits and build new ones.

The trick is to work with our brain, not against it. Instead of relying solely on willpower, we need to start changing our habits.

To do that, we need to make it easy for our brains to choose the behavior we want. Make it attractive, make it obvious, and make it satisfying.

Remember, your brain loves rewards.

So how about rewarding it for going to the gym with an enjoyable podcast episode? Or chopping up some veggies and hummus and leaving them front and center in the fridge, making them the obvious snack choice?

How about catching up with a friend over a brisk walk instead of a coffee and a donut? Can you see where I’m going with this?

The Great Revelation — It’s Not You, It’s Your Environment

Here’s the kicker, folks. While we’ve been busy beating ourselves up for our lack of self-control, we’ve overlooked the critical role our environment plays in our behaviors. It’s like trying to diet in a donut shop — virtually impossible!

Think about it. We’ve created societies where high-calorie food is everywhere, and sedentary behaviors are the norm.

Our phones and devices are designed to be addictive, constantly begging for our attention. It’s not a lack of self-control that’s the issue — it’s a world that’s geared to undermine it at every turn.

So, if you want to boost your self-control, start by taking a good look around you. Can you rearrange your environment to support the habits you want to build?

Perhaps keeping your running shoes next to your bed to encourage a morning run? Or deleting social media apps off your phone to minimize distractions?

Remember, out of sight, out of mind works wonders.

A Call to Arms for Self-Control

So there you have it. The reason you have no self-control isn’t because you’re weak or lack willpower. It’s because you’re human, with a human brain, and living in a human-made environment that doesn’t exactly encourage self-control.

So here’s my call to arms. Let’s stop blaming ourselves for our lack of self-control and start understanding our brains.

Let’s stop trying to fight our environment and start changing it. Let’s stop striving for perfection and start celebrating small victories.

Remember, it’s not about having an iron will. It’s about being smarter than the beast inside your head and the world around you.

Are you up for the challenge?